How to save money on GTA 6 launch: Fun budget-saving tips

I'm not saying GTA 6 will ruin me financially. I'm confident I could spend $80 to $100 on video games without having to dramatically change my lifestyle or question each purchase. I am a responsible adult. I pay the bills. I make rational decisions (most of the time).

But Rockstar waited over a decade to release this game, and I refused to show up on launch day unprepared. So naturally, I created a completely normal and healthy savings plan that involved making sacrifices for the crime simulator. Can I save money each month? Should you consider selling your furniture instead? Who can really say? Here are some completely reasonable and common ways I save for GTA 6:

I can walk anywhere because my legs are free.

Gasoline is expensive, public transportation costs money, and ride sharing requires small business loans. The walk is free.

Of course. It takes 45 minutes to get to the post office. But immersive role-playing takes 45 minutes. Every errand is a side quest, every stranger is an NPC, and every slightly aggressive goose is just a boss encounter. Come November, you'll have enough money saved up for GTA 6 and a poultry strong enough to punch through drywall.

I declare war on candlelight

I don't care how good it smells. You're spending $30 on a bottle of wax because someone named it something funny like Autumn Library Rainstorm. What does that mean? There is no smell in the library. Storms don't happen indoors. Autumn is not a scent.

Buying all the candles is just paying your own money to slowly light them. Put that budget into GTA 6. At least video game crime lasts forever.

Charge your friend for every minor inconvenience.

I have provided my services for free for many years. Advice, help moving furniture, hearing someone explain cryptocurrency. That's enough.

If your friend asks you if you should text your ex, that's a consultation fee. If it sends you a 6-minute voice memo instead of a regular text, that's a premium service. When they ask me to help them move their couch, they're basically funding my GTA 6 pre-order. I'm not saying friendships have to be transactional. This means Rockstar has created a situation where it has to make difficult business decisions.

Don't experience joy until November.

Entertainment is expensive. Movies cost money. Concerts cost money. Going out costs money. Happiness is one of the biggest recurring costs in modern society.

For the next few months, I will be quietly looking out the window, doing the financially responsible thing. Whenever I feel the urge to have fun, I will remind myself that fun is temporary. Grand Theft Auto 6 is forever.

I think of my furniture as a temporary luxury.

Do you really need a sofa? Think about it. A sofa is just a large object designed to make sitting more comfortable. My chair works perfectly. My floor also exists. The human body has survived for thousands of years without sectionals and decorative pillows.

If selling my sofa had brought me closer to GTA 6, it probably wouldn't have been a piece of furniture at all. Maybe it was just a very expensive obstacle standing between me and the shiny pink sports car from the video game.

I'm discovering the revolutionary concept of free drinks

For years, I've been tricked into believing that drinks need flavor and sometimes ridiculous amounts of sugar. Coffee shops were confident that drinks could have a seasonal identity. Energy drinks convinced us we needed neon to survive Tuesday, but now we see the truth.

The water was there the whole time. It was free. I was waiting. I never asked you to spend $7 on a cup with a complicated name. Every time I drink water without buying anything else, I'll remember that I'm not just hydrating, I'm preparing for GTA 6.

You're finally faced with a backlog you've been ignoring for years.

My backlog is already big enough to qualify as a side hustle. There are games you buy because they look cool, play them for two hours, and then completely give up because you're distracted by other games. Somewhere in my library there is a masterpiece that I have completely ignored.

So I'm finally going to finish these games before GTA 6 comes out. Of course, this plan has one major flaw. You'll spend half an hour clearing out your backlog instead of actually playing anything. But technically, organizing is progress, and progress is basically the same as finishing. GTA 6 is here!

I'm learning that being cute isn't actually essential.

This is a serious problem. The shop knows exactly what they're doing when they create something adorable. I'm thinking about making small objects with faces and colors, and then whether I need a pillow shaped like a frog. The answer is no. You don't need a frog-shaped pillow. I need GTA6.

Unfortunately, my brain has spent years convincing me that cute is a necessity. No dolls needed. This is the hardest battle because those little guys are very persuasive.

I go back to the cave age

Electricity is expensive and darkness is completely free. I'm paying to make a room look a little more presentable every time I turn on a light. Is that really necessary? My furniture knows where it is. My walls aren't going anywhere. I have successfully navigated homes before. If you start wandering around in the dark, you'll save money and develop the survival instincts you'll need for GTA missions.

The only downside is that you accidentally end up on the table every night, but that's basically just real training. By November, I'll either have enough money to play GTA 6 or I'll know the layout of my apartment better than ever.

Stop buying gifts for people

I'm not saying I'll stop caring about people before they get angry. I'm saying people need to understand that GTA 6 is a major financial event. If someone's birthday happens before November, they'll receive something thoughtful… maybe… maybe. I'm sure you have thoughts.

The actual gift may be a handwritten note explaining that I am currently investing in an important cultural moment, and if I don't recognize that, I may not understand the true sacrifice.